honey bunches of taint.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
