can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
