you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
