Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You can't special order awesome
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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