who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
