dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
