i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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