I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
