But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
