I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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