blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So many bounce houses so little time
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
