But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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