Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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