I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
