my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
