I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
