Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
