I heard we made out
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
