I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
