He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
