Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
