oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
