oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
