You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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