my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
