Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
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