we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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