I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
