Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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