You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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