Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
