walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Randomize
