i think i have herpe
just one?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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