wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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