remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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