I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
