we're blogging at a bar
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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