Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
