kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
