whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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