What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
