weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
