I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
