I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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