4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
