and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's shark week go big or go home
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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