its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
