Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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