someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
