Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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