Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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